Monthly Archives: August 2013

Sometimes It Is All Kittens

Southern NH animal portrait photographer

Sometimes it is all kittens. Oh, happy day!

Himalayan ragdoll kittens

Himalayan ragdoll kittens

Himalayan ragdoll kitten

Himalayan ragdoll kitten

Apple Breakup Letter

Dear Apple,

We’re going to break up soon, just as soon as I can wrap up a few loose ends like waiting for my financial indentured servitude to expire with my cell provider.

Here’s why:

Updating & the Maps debacle

Backups are required if I want to update my IOS to make sure the street I live on still looks like it’s melting in Maps. But I can’t restore backups. What good is a backup if you can’t restore it?

With all this talk about governmental spying and all, silly me thought I’d give the encrypt backup thing a try. Now the government will never know what a complete ass-hat I am for having 3,485 photos of my dogs on my phone or for texting “love :)” back and forth with my husband 20 times a day. Yay!

Fast forward to the next time I go to restore a backup. I hate to admit any wrongdoing on my part but I fess up. I did the unforgivable, the thing that no one ever, ever should do to avoid the risk of annoying the password gods- I lost the password. Well, ok, I’ll just reset it. For some reason you think I should restore it to factory settings instead. Given how often people lose passwords, I’d think you’d provide an alternative.

Here’s my alternative: if I have to reenter my 500 email accounts, settings, apps and passwords again, I’ll do it on another device because it’s not the first time I’ve lost a password and I know it won’t be the last.

Battery charging fires & explosions

My battery life is actually pretty good so no complaints there. But when I do charge it the little brick thingy gets so hot I fear it’ll burn the house down. The fact that it actually has burned houses down only fuels my statistically irrelevant paranoia.

Syncing the iTunes library

Devices can only be synced with one iTunes library. That’s all well and good if you never have to replace a hard drive because you consider that a different iTunes library. Apple, I know it’s not unreasonable or unheard of for most people to use the same computer for years. That’s great. But I’m a photographer and process stupid amounts of data every day. Hard drives weren’t meant for that sort of wear and tear. So I get the joy of replacing one every 9-12 months.

My iTunes collection, while near and dear to my heart, is not my top data priority (the horror- I know) so it sometimes takes me a few weeks to get to syncing my music. In those few weeks I’ve downloaded more music and created more music files locally from CDs. Is it too much to ask for a 2-way sync? Seriously? Why is my only option to erase the device’s library?

C.mon now. You guys pretty much invented this whole digital music management thing. You can’t find a way around that?

Can never change email address

Speaking of absurdity, I can’t change the email address on my iTunes account EVER without losing everything I’ve ever purchased through iTunes. Brilliant. Just brilliant.

I called up one of your Geniuses. He was really lovely. You should keep him and treat him nicely. I noted his name but it was lost during a sync. If I could ever restore my backups I could probably find it again to help you retain one of your most valuable assets- your people. You should probably pay them better too but that’s another topic. Right now I’m talking about my iTunes email.

Anyway, so imagine the scenarios: you lose access to that email account, change jobs or switch from Comcast or Xfinity or whatever it is they call themselves these days to FIOS, you get a better email address and want to combine them all, change your name, move or any of 500 other reasons you want to change your iTunes email address.

“Can’t Be Done” defined

The lovely Genius man told me that changing your email address without losing everything can’t be done. Meanwhile, in it can’t be done land, they can grow a human organ from a single cell. Seriously, Apple, please redefine your definition of can’t be done.

Updating device apps

This might be nit picking a little but it annoys me so it’s one of those things that gets added to an ever growing list. Why do I have to enter my password on my device every time I want to update an app? I’m already on the device. Your app store specifically separates updates from purchases, which is pretty smart, probably to avoid unauthorized purchases. Given how far the technology has come and how much information you already have on all of us and our devices can’t you lose the password requirement when updating? It’s not a purchase. It’s an update. In fact, why don’t you automatically update apps and let us pick a time of day to do it?

Forced cloud storage

I don’t like this whole cloud computing thing. Stop asking me to auto save or sync to cloud.  I remember how all the tech companies praised its convenience and security features. I might not be the brightest bulb on the planet but I’m pretty sure if unencrypted data is sent out into the nether-nether lands, anybody with a proper receiver can pluck it out of thin air and access its contents OR a server farm employee can access it OR a hacker can gain access. That was how I felt before all the tech companies gave our information to the NSA, like you all promised you wouldn’t do. No, I want my data right here, where it’s safe and I can access it whenever I want for free.

To be fair, Apple, my husband has a Droid, and most functions won’t work unless it’s in the cloud so in that respect you have them beat. I think it was yesterday Google flat out said users should have no expectation of privacy when using any of their services. At least you guys pretend.

You do not own rounded corners

I’m tired of your lawsuits. They remind me every day of the unfairness of our justice system. Just the other day some poor court clerk got fired for providing documents proving a man’s innocence. Imprison the innocent to save judicial face? How is that justice? And we get to pay these people salary and pension for the rest of their lives. It’s exhausting, all this thinking.

Some of your suits are founded, granted, but Apple, you do not own rounded corners on metal or plastic. I remember a long, long time ago when you used to have to stand at the TV and hold the rabbit ears to get reception. Well, those TVs had rounded corners on metal and plastic and I know for a fact that was long before the iPhone. Get over it.

Global working conditions

Finally, Apple, while I’ll always love you in so many ways, we have a fundamental difference that I can no longer accept. Please stop hiding behind your perfect curtain over there. I can see you. Stop pretending you care about the conditions at your factories. I am not stupid.

People over profit- it’s not like you can’t afford it

If you invested just a tiny fraction of your profits into workplace safety and worker satisfaction, you’d still be one of the top 10 most profitable companies on Earth and as an added bonus would positively impact the lives of disenfranchised human beings around the world.

Recent Senate investigations revealed you sheltered $44 BILLION in off shore accounts between 2009-2012. I know- they make you do it, everybody else is doing it, and whatever else it is that you oligarchs tell yourselves to help with that reflection in the mirror. Pay your taxes and pay your workers their fair share. Stop hiding. It’s the right thing to do.

Soon it will be farewell. I wish you all the best and I hope you find your God and when you do for your sake and mine, I hope it no longer is spelled m-o-n-e-y.

Sincerely,
Alison, an iProducts lover